Khallarnie's Journal

Ketchups can be specialized, like Mushroom Ketchup. But nothing beats a Ketchup that works on everything, like tomoato does. This is a general one, and hopefully works on everything, and like tomato ketchup, covers a multitude of errors.

Khallie, you are fast approaching your 8th birthday now. Today is November 2nd as I write this. This is your dad. It is 5:30 in the morning, and you are asleep in your bed in your room with Kiry, and I am in mine, while mommy is in Vernal, Utah, on the firdt work day of a trip there for one of her companie’s clients. We went with her there this weekend to give her a little extra confidence on the long drive out. We spent the night in the hotel with her, and then came hom on Sunday.

You will be doing some homeschool lessons today, probably reading, and typing. You are not doing bad on your reading, but I think you are behind what could be expected of a kid your age. But to be honest, I always have thought it was something that would click for you, and that it was never something to pressure you on. It is like riding a bike in that, once you get going on it, you will speed away and go everywhere with it. Much like you did when you finally got me to take the training wheels off your actual bike. You just took off without falling, and without any struggle. You just did it like you had been for a while. I fell when I was a kid. That was my experience. You just rode!

We have always been pretty clear on home educating our kids. It is just not that important to us to have them in state schooling. We are fortunate that we have always been able to make a parent avaliable to dedicate to it. Luckily you have always taken to life on the “farm,” too. This is 2020! It is the year when the world that us adults knew got turned completely on its head, and no matter how far over we think it has got turned, it seems to have not stopped rolling. We always kind of joked about being on farmland, and homeschooling our kids because the people who tended to do that kind of thing in America were conspiracy theorist, gun collecting, preppers, who were deliberately seperating themselves from a society they did not trust. And so it has been for us, but I guess the difference has been that we never really cared to bother with society. Mom and I both did not get along with lots of people in our formative years, and neither built trust in them then, and that seems to have carried over, along with a sense of needing others.

So we are all here on the little acre, doing what we can to learn to live independantly of society, but aware that we still rely on production of others and even schooling from the online academy to help us along. You are a huge part of our lives, and a reason for me to get up and try to make every day the best it can be. You are happy, and full of humor and fun. I regret that this Halloween has basically been skipped, thanks in large part to the Coronavirus, and a little because we had to take mommy to her destination. We spent Halloween in the hotel room. Trick or Treating was pretty well off due to the virus, anyhow. I’d like to have hosted a party in our back yard, and done some fun games, but family get togethers are off the table too, and Wynn and his mom report not feeling well lately.

It’s not excuses. It is reasons. It is the resononing behind having to break with traditions and find other ways. A lot of traditions from when I was a kid have had to be broken during your childhood, and my nostalgia has had to be put aside to make a childhood for you that is a little different to what I knew, and I know that the same goes for your mother.

What matters for us is having our little family together, and doing our thing. It is difficult to be truely independant in this world, these days. Expectations come from society, from traditions, from every source of media input we allow into our lives. It’s hard as a parent to judge if we are teaching you enough. But then, you are super intelligent, and soak things up like a little sponge that just never gets saturated. So in that sense, you really fit in here in the outlands of society. I am very proud of you, and never doubt you will be able to make whatever life you want to. I am glad to be a part of your life. I am s happy to have you a part of mine, kid!

Right, so that is a lot of how I think and feel. As for you, lately you have discovered a bit of computer gaming, and have been playing with Kirynie and a couple of her classmates who meet up and play together online. They are Hadies and Atticus. You get called “Little Bacon.” You are sure to stand your ground when you don’t like anything they come at you with, and that is kind of funny because you then brush it off and carry on. I admire your strength.

Right now, you are a lot about your sister and your farm life and your sense of humor. Right now, you and I are really good buddies, and I love that. Sometimes when I am working on something like splitting logs for our winter firewood, you will come out and watch for a little bit, then vanish back in. I think you are bored and looking for someone to hang out with, but I am busy doing something you are too small to help with and that is noisy and dangerous and you end up going back inside after a little bit. It bums me out to not be able to spend all the time with you that you want to, but there are things I have got to do so we can spend time in front of a fire in the winter, rather than freezing. When you remember these days, right now, I just wnat to be sure you know it, that I love you, and wish I could stop and be with you, playing, learning, or doing whatever to make your childhood as fantastic as possible.

Time presses on. The early morning is fading away and it will soon be time to get out of bed and get the day started. I will need to put a fire on so you and Kirynie won’t be distracted by the cold for school time. Likewise, you young childhood if fading away, and you are getting to the age where your momries will stick with you more as an adult. I have been crap at writing in your childhood journal, and all I can do is make excuses for that. I am sorry. I hope now to do better. But I also look forward to turning it over to you so you wll have the things about your life that are important to you and that you want to remember. I love you kiddo! All of you kids are so important to me. All of you are like a big ice cream sundae, each being such a wonderful and important part making up such wonder, and you are a bit of a cherry on top.